her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize