I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
