I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
