It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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