Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
