I just saw a hot homeless man
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize