haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
