It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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