i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
