her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
