I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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