He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize