at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
