My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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