Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
