You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
