sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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