My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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