Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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