i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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