So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
