alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
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So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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