he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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