Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize