Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize