Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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