The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
