I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
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I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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