Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

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  (661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr
  Replies (23) Good night (714) Bad night (7401) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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  (586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w
  Replies (22) Good night (7778) Bad night (612)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.

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  (204): Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this. http://tfl.nu/p44k
  Replies (24) Good night (972) Bad night (4806)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.

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  (918): i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/hs1z
  Replies (32) Good night (7288) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.

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  (212): It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/fa0p
  Replies (24) Good night (5480) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Drunk. I slept-stripped.

  (914): View more from New York

  By myself.

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  (914): Drunk. I slept-stripped. (914): By myself. http://tfl.nu/r1zm
  Replies (4) Good night (2230) Bad night (797)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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  (412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (6811) Bad night (1113)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.

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  (519): I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vafe
  Replies (5) Good night (4605) Bad night (581)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.

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  (847): I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/z7fq
  Replies (2) Good night (1286) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

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  (940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table

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  (603): therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table http://tfl.nu/r83g
  Replies (3) Good night (1254) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break

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  (616): My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break http://tfl.nu/h428
  Replies (3) Good night (1800) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.

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  (850): I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl. http://tfl.nu/bohf
  Replies (7) Good night (1088) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt

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