I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.