I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?