From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.