My brain says no but my pants say off.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down