God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
