Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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