At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
