what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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