therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
