We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
