I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
