Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
