Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
