I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
