I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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