i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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