She said her name was "party"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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