it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
