Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
