p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
