the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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