I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You smell like stripper and shame
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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