that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
