remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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