its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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