my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
