Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
