One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
