saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
