your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
