how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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